I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
