shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.