you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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