'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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