Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
