do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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