i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
