Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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