This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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