guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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