It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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