No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
