The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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