yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
