I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
