whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
