Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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