This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
