Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
