Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
