I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
