By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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