Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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