let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
