we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
