like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
