And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
