I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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