You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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