I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Text me some of your sweat
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