Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
