I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize