Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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