The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
