did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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