My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
