she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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