where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
