You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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