What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
