First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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