using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
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