absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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