Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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