what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
