I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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