I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
