I got her a Nickelback box set.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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