First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
