after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
not ubering you a puppy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
