You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
