dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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