it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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