Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
