Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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