The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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