This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
