Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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