I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
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Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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